Life sometimes plays trick on us. One day we think we are on the right track but then the twist of circumstances tells us that we were wrong. I changed my previous work. Couldn't stand that abnormal atmosphere. Now I work at the restaurant/pub. On Saturday I'm going to get the schedule and be officialy employed. Late hours enable me to spend some time with My A. and learn to share the same space with another person. Wonder what the following days will be like.

Thank You for Your Presence

6 months- it's not so long one may say, but no one can even suspect how much I got to know You throughout this time and how much feeling I have to You. You're so dear to me. Thank You for these months You gave me. Thank You for Your arm when I cried, for good word when I needed it, for Your hilarious sence of humour. Thank You for Your eagerness to go beyond yourself, for the tenderness, for appreciation. But thank Yoy also for these hard moments, since they taught me a lot about You and myself. In particular I want to thank You Darling for Your Love and I ask for more:*

I wanna cry and burst in tears. I hate my first days at work and I hate insecurity and uncertainty. I have been an emotional (am not exagurating) bomb ready to explode at any time. Could I officialy turn myself off for a couple of months or so? My emotional state is at the end of its tether. Around 6.00 PM my blood pressure peaks and indicates 200/300. Moreover, last few days were quite tough for My Little, Precious One and simultaneously for myself. That spun a net of circumstances that enabled us to get to know each other in extreme situations. Life consists of both bad and good days. And it's good to know both sides of the preverbial coin.
Recently things have not settled as I wanted to. But heard that the Hope dies last. So I trust in Divine Power and so called 'Luck'-whatever it is. Get your fingers crossed! The following days, weeks and months are going to be the hardest ones. Am so f*** scared.

first day at work

Today I was at work for the first time. Supposedly, being a cashier, shop assistant or so, is not a big deal. And it is not. But the most difficult thing for me was to stand still for hours. My spine suffered a lot. Moreover, I ate nothing from yesterday's evening up till 6 PM today. Am so proud of my stomach. And as always I put a huge emotional barrier around me lest harsh remarks of the managers bombard me. After work I dreamt nothing but about a comforting face and voice of My Beloved One. But the reality predominated the trancendental needs. Had to pull myself together and enjoy the evening alone. Sometimes expectations and hope just spoil the fun yet provide you with this thrilling anticipation;) So now I'm lying down on my bed watching crappy 'Polshit'- as Somebody would put it nicely- and probably the night will come very soon. Nite nite

isn't he charming :)

The Final Resolution

Tomorrow morning is called 'the final resolution'. My self- esteem will be boosted immensely and my self will be complete again. The next few days will be such blissful moments shared with My Beloved One. We don't have to care about learning anymore or any other commitments. Just Us and Summer time. When I think about it I get the goose pimples:)

Paying tribute

His death brought my memories back to my childhood. How I adored him and his music... Thank You for this episode in my life.